Why am I here?

Have you ever struggled with a habit or behaviour? You've tried to stop, improve or just wash it off, but it didn't go away. Maybe it's procrastination, punctuality, communication, or something else. People have advised you, tried to help you (or even warned you), and you genuinely want to change. You try so hard. But you are sincerely tired. 

You want a way out. But somehow you just couldn't help it. You still found yourself going late for an event or occasion. You still found yourself waiting till the deadline before you started working on tasks. It feels toxic. You ask, "What's wrong with me?" "Why am I like this?"

And maybe you haven't struggled with anything. You probably would have met someone who fits into this. And that's exactly what I want to breakdown today. Why this happens, and the way out.

The question is: "Why am I here?"

Why Am I Me?

Everything you see in the present is influenced by the activities of the past. Some of them were your actions, most of them weren't. What do I mean?

• Did you choose your birth?
• Did you choose your parents?
• Did you choose where you grew up?
• Did you choose the location of your birth?
• Did you choose the family you were born to?
• Did you choose the schools you went to early on?
• Did you even choose whether you went to school or not?
• Did you choose what to eat and what not to eat at a young age?
• Did you choose how your parents chose to raise you?
• Did you choose the environment you lived in?
• Did you choose your faith?
• And it keeps going...

All these questions show how much of our lives was decided for us. And they formed the foundation of our lives. Anything we see today - our personality, our likes, dislikes, interests, desires, strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and challenges, was formed on these foundations. That's exactly why you are here.

The Influences That Shape Us

The reason why you talk, think or act the way you do is because of the way you were raised. The reason you see the world the way you do is based on how you were brought up. The person you are today is a result of your parents, family, community, environment, government, and even your geography. 

So it's really nothing abstract. It's all within you. Everything from your past influences your mindset, beliefs, values, ideologies, character, and personality. You were made to be who you are today. Although it was not intentional, but it happened.

This question is not so much of introspection, but more of observation. Perhaps another way to frame this question is: "How did I get here?" Or "What led me here?" Or "Why do I act the way I do?"

The Power of "Why"

Since the beginning we've been asking "What." What kind of person am I? What do I want? What have I done so far? But now, the question is why. Why am I that kind of person? Why do I want the things I want? Why have I made such progress so far? Why am I here?

Travel back in time. What do you see?

• Your personality, how did it come to be? Why are you introverted, reserved and quiet? Why are you loud, extroverted and bold?
• Why do you believe what you believe? Did you choose to believe, or was it imposed on you to believe?
• What are your values, and why so? Why is integrity so important to you? Why do you think it is important to invest in knowledge?
• What's your mindset about money, people, school, etc.? Why do you think you have that mindset? Do you think money is scarce or is in abundance? Do you think people are inherently good or bad? Do you think school is a scam, or not? Why do you have that mindset?
• Why do you walk the way you do? Why do you talk the way you do? Why do you laugh the way you do? Why?

Go to the source. Think deep. Scour through your past. Ask Why - as many times as possible.

But why do you need to know why?

Knowing why you are the way you are in different areas helps you know how to grow constructively. You can clearly see what you need to work on, what you need to double down on, and what needs to stop. You're not clueless as to how you can improve your life. You know the areas that need attention. That's the power of thoughtful reflection.

I don't need to remind you that you should be sincere and open with yourself. Be vulnerable with yourself. It's between you and you. No judgement, no condemnation. Yes, there are parts of your past you would rather not revisit, but you need to dig deep to live the life of your dreams.

Again, ask yourself: "Why am I here?"

Till the next,

Gee